by Jack's buddy James Allen
Criminals find their niche: The World of Sports
(as told from SuperBowl eve)
Men, women, and children of all ages will not easily find slumber tonight (without alcoholic aid) because they grow with anticipation of what happens tomorrow, yes, it is the eve of Super Bowl Sunday. Super Bowl Sunday, the only remaining holiday that doesn't offend anyone. No political agendas, no neon religious symbols, no honor of one single person who's crimes are overlooked because the history books need to be brief to hold what's left of student's attention span, just two teams, not even another unspellable country to salute, just two teams and a game that will determine who is the best.
Glasses will raise, indeed, as the cream of the crop collide for a prize people know as the only true holy grail in American society today: The Super Bowl Championship Honor.
Never mind those overly sensitive parents whining about the violence of the game influencing our children to do the same roughstuff with their playmates. Violence is in their blood already, football doesn't teach it to them. Tell them to be quiet, if only for a day! Let us have this day! It is the essence of everything we have come to cherish.
Our government cheers us on, because the faster we turn to the sports page, the faster the headlines tumble away in the wind. Must we spend every single day bothering ourselves with the actions of our politicians and their domestic and foreign agendas? Let us have this day! Famine, war, terrorism, drug addiction, crusty old white people running this country making sure their lottery ticket cashes in, and they can spend it before they kick it, and leave the shitpile for the grandkids to clean, fuck it all! Let us have this day!
And let us not forget our atheletes; where would they be without our praise of sports? They would all go where some of them will (unfairly) go regardless, prison. Not all atheletes, of course, just the vast majority of them. Come together, and let us praise physical ability for just a day! So much, we read and critique and incorporate other's and our own thoughts to intellectual processi. We honor and cheer our teachers and leaders and thinkers and martyrs the whole year through, Let us have this day!
Remember people, the balance of our cherished, taken-for-granted society is extremely fragile. Any small thing could upset this balance, and send us into turmoil. Sports fans, your praise is an investment into many many people's futures. Imagine the great number of Americans (and borrowed imigrants), that earn their living to feed their children and take their pets to vets, having to step over the wretched smelling homeless in doing so. It is great, so without you, sports fans, many many would suffer, and be cast into the world to find other means to make well for themselves. Most likely, they would turn to a life of crime. Thanks to those atheletes for choosing sports over crime, or sports with crime (I ask you, what's a little rape and murder, anyways? Lighten up, liberals!), and please, let us thank and praise you more. Should we spend our time examining other aspects of American and world society, we might not leave anything for our children to accomplish.
No other distraction even comes
close to the glory of this game. Enjoy the game, folks, enjoy
Super Bowl Sunday, for Monday will always follow. Amen.
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content copyright 2000-1 the author
art copyright 2000 skewed perspective