Gems from Ray's Video Vault 3: DESPERADO

YO QUIERO MUCHO GUNPLAY - DESPERADO

1995
Rated R (for inventively violent shootouts and a couple of nekkid body doubles)
Starring Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Joaquim De Almeida, Steve Buscemi, Cheech Marin, & Quentin Tarantino

A sequel to writer/director Robert Rodriguez's low-low-low budget indie El Mariachi, Desperado is a fun flick full of ultraviolence and larger-than-life characters. Antonio Banderas plays the unnamed Mariachi singer/guitarist out to avenge the loss of both his girlfriend and guitar hand. Unfortunately, you'll have to haunt the Foreign section of your local video store to rent El Mariachi for the full lowdown (and God help you if Blockbuster is your only option), as it's only briefly summarized in flashback here. Nope, there's no time for stage-setting as this actionfest kicks into high gear right out of the gate.

Now, if you're looking for realism, you won't find it here. Not a trace. Tom Clancy fans, steer clear. Desperado more closely resembles the Hong Kong action fare of Jackie Chan, John Woo, and Chow Yun-Fat than anything American. There is ample reloading, however, dispelling the Western cliche of firing dozens of shots from a six-shooter. Just about every other action cliche is in full effect, though, including the heroine's inability to run without awkward heels. It's all fun stuff if you check your analytical mind at the door and settle back for some eye candy.

A slick soundtrack from Los Lobos, Dire Straits, and Tito Larriva help give the scenes their South of the Border flava. Both Antonio and Salma turn in vocal performances as well, but while it doesn't ruin the film, it's hardly a selling point. At least they're in character, and in some way help advance the plot.

Probably the biggest disappointment is the short shrift given cameos from the likes of Cheech Marin, Quentin Tarantino, and Steve Buscemi. These characters are barely afforded the chance to crack wise before they join the body count. I apologize for not throwing a "Spoiler Alert" in there, but I doubt you'll have enough time to feel forlorn when any of them bite it.

Antonio Banderas is probably at the peak of his career here, showing his "expansive" range of brooding melancholy to wired excitement all while trying to look cool and shoot everything in sight. Salma Hayek is also at her best, half-naked and in constant motion. She probably has some dialogue too, but you'll have to confirm that for yourself. Joaquim De Almeida throws in only a token performance as the evil Bucho, and Armand Assante would have been a much better choice if a tad more expensive. Hey, I could have lived with a few less explosions for a better villain.

Overall, Desperado rates 7 out of 10 carat quality. It's fun for action fans, but nothing that'll lead to deep discussion. Track it down at your local video store and let me know what you think at ray@skewedperspective.com. E-mail me your review requests as well. Thanks for reading.

-Ray Rich